I know I haven't updated in forever, but on a whim I checked my inbox and couldn't help but share. See, the dating site has a mystery match app, whereby they send you a notification that they've found someone who's a good match, who fits your parameters, and who also lists X as an interest, just like you do. So you send them a message about X, without knowing who you're messaging. The recipient will then see your message, and if they like your profile they'll respond. It's a nifty way to start conversations with people without a lot of pressure, because if they don't like your profile and don't respond, you'll never know who it was.
I got a message through this service today (it announces it before the message- you were selected as one of this guy's mystery matches). Here is the entire message, with identifying information deleted.
hello, my name is michael ---- and i read your profile.... i respect everything you wrote there upon. I currently work at a software developing company named --------- in Orlando... im 23 but i look younger... i have no muscles so im not like the strongest dude around... all im asking is that you chat with me maybe you might like the kinda person i am..... I have my own little condo in altamonte springs and i am a computer programmer/ and network administrator...
i like punk rock, hardcore, metal, classical music, and goth.....
if your not that superficial then please message me or txt me 000-000-0000 we dont need to end up dating im in no rush at all i just want friends cuz i dont have any I moved here a few months back my GF and I broke and now i have nobody at all.... im lonely and my profile is empty because i kinda lost hope and was about to delete it.
im a nerd so idk if you will message me but i hope so please
I'm not even sure where to begin. No, wait, I know- don't lie. You obviously didn't read my profile, because there's no way to find out my identity unless I respond to your message. Most of these messages that I've received have been along the lines of Hey, neat, a mystery woman... how intriguing. It says you like beer, so what's your favorite? I'm a fan of imperial stouts myself. So that's strike one, buddy. Even if your message wasn't full of RUN AWAY! and KILL IT WITH FIRE vibes, you completely alienated me by pretending to have read and enjoyed my profile.
Next, I'd say including your full name, workplace, and actual telephone number. That's just silly and careless, especially since you don't even know who I am. You haven't even had a chance to read my profile and look at my pics to see if I'm an obvious scammer, or hooker, or whacked-out nutjob. Sure, you still run across some crazies who were able to mask it in their emails or IMs, but the really crazy ones out themselves pretty quick. You've just opened the door to all sorts of unpleasantries- shit, if I were bored and slightly more cruel, I could just start randomly texting you that God knows what you're doing..... and you'll have to atone for your sins shortly, as the end of days is nigh. Nobody wants that.
But worse than being careless with your personal information, your entire message smacks of desperation. It's normal to feel lonely in a new town, when you've just recently broken up with your girlfriend, and it's not even necessarily desperate to tell people that. I've seen plenty of profiles and messages that say I'm new to the area, and I'm just looking to meet people so I can have conversations with someone other than my coworkers and my cat. Except that the way you say it, it makes me think you're so unhappy with yourself you can't even stand your own company, and need other people to reassure you or distract you from how much you suck.
And don't beg. Don't ever beg someone to message you, or hang out with you, or call you. I know you feel inferior, but no one on earth is so much cooler than you that you have to beg for their company. The only difference between you and everyone else is that most people hide their insecurities and doubts from the rest of the world. It's a facade they only discard when they're among good friends. And by sharing your insecurities with perfect strangers, you're forcing them into a sort of intimacy with you that they don't necessarily want.
And that's why people, myself included, are completely squicked out by your messages.
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